Aug
21
Financee has ex-mistresses phone number in speed dial list on cell phone. What would you think?
By
Happy1 questioned:
I’ve dated my fiancee for 3 1/2 years and I’ve been engaged for 18 months. I went into his home to get married (didn’t want everything to happen at once-stress) and I found some mail that indicated that his ex wife is his beneficiary (they’ve been divorced for over 13 years). Due to this, questions popped up and I went through his cell phone (didn’t know what I was looking for, but didn’t trust “something”). Upon looking, I found the name of his EX-Mistress (he was cheating on his 16 year marriage for 9 NINE years with this woman). I’ve made it clear early on that I wouldn’t be able to support any contact with this woman. I’m being told that he just never changed his beneficiary information because he forgot or just didn’t do it type of forgetting. He’s saying the same about deleting his Ex-mistresses phone number. There is another girl that he dated in his cell phone too (not worried about her though). Could a man forget so much business-he’s usually on top of things finacial..
I’ve dated my fiancee for 3 1/2 years and I’ve been engaged for 18 months. I went into his home to get married (didn’t want everything to happen at once-stress) and I found some mail that indicated that his ex wife is his beneficiary (they’ve been divorced for over 13 years). Due to this, questions popped up and I went through his cell phone (didn’t know what I was looking for, but didn’t trust “something”). Upon looking, I found the name of his EX-Mistress (he was cheating on his 16 year marriage for 9 NINE years with this woman). I’ve made it clear early on that I wouldn’t be able to support any contact with this woman. I’m being told that he just never changed his beneficiary information because he forgot or just didn’t do it type of forgetting. He’s saying the same about deleting his Ex-mistresses phone number. There is another girl that he dated in his cell phone too (not worried about her though). Could a man forget so much business-he’s usually on top of things finacial..
men forget the beneficiary after divorce until someone reminds them. Now for the exmistresses he should have deleted them as soon as he got serious with you.
We can and do…. me i tend to make sure an ex is out of life… phone is first to get it…….but we can do the forget thing… give him a long lead on which to hang himself… suggest cooling it off while he re-builds your trust …
Well, now you know you’re marrying a cheater…..don`t act surprised when he does it to you.
Yeah I would leave…sounds like more then just forgetting.
not a chance….
he’s seeing them both… if not he is ready to at any moment. or he wouldnt keep their numbers. get rid of him…
he cheated on his ex for how many years????? hes gonna do the same to you.
< Could a man forget so much business-he's usually on top of things finacial?. NO!!!
Are you interested in his money or his character?
As a character, you have picked a terrible one. Well, really, you went in with him with no marriage arrangement so you are a fool or have low standards anyway. You willing pick someone who likes to have lots of side actions going on. You really reckon he would change for you, or for anyone? Naive.
Beneficiary is usually for the legal spouse. If you are married, you become the beneficiary — not now. Really, if there is a legal second marriage, the first wife cannot be the beneficiary unless the current wife signs a consent form.
I know the beneficiary issue – many people forget that detail. But, speaking from experience, the phone number is another issue. I have a few ex-boyfriends numbers in my phone. I never removed them as I like to talk to them sometimes and who know what can happen in the future. But, if I did find the right guy then I would remove them. I know for a fact that my number is still in my ex’s phone and he is married and expecting a baby – sometimes he calls me late at night but I never take his calls. Sounds like your guy doesn’t want to let go. Maybe he keeps them as backups incase your relationship doesn’t work out – be careful!
Ok, let’s reckon about this:
1. His ex-wife is his beneficiary.
2. He has lied about this – “forgot”,”didn’t get around to it” – and lied about other things.
3. He cheated on his first marriage for 9 years and still has contact with her.
4. Has another gal on the phone.
5. You have been with this guy for 3 1/2 years.
6. You have been engaged (in holding pattern) for over a year because someone is stressed over getting married but it’s OK to live together.
I reckon you should find someone better, but don’t you have any gut feeling?
Darlin, Go on,please ! He cheated on his first wife so you are next in line.Sounds like a heartless player ! My x was a cheater so I despise cheaters ! Some do change but most do not !!! But I will pray for you for whatever you choose.
Face reality, you’re engaged to a cheater, therefore, how you got him is how you’re gonna loose him. Sorry to be blunt. Also, its very hard to trust somebody like that because, once a cheater always a cheater!!!!